Reflections on some experiences

Discerning God's will.  Probably one of the hardest things to do.  I can't even begin to give advice on how to do that.  I'm learning and trying so hard to right now to understand God's will for me.  So much, that it hurts.  How do we understand the things that happen without questioning that God is good, and his plan is sovereign?  These are some of the questions that are coming to mind as I am searching myself.

I just have to keep remembering that God is good.  He is perfect.

So i'm just randomly throwing this in here, but my friend's status on Facebook was this: "When I try, I fail, when I trust, God succeeds." This is so true. We cannot even learn to discern God's will without his spirit leading in our lives.  It's crazy to think about that.

God has definitely shown himself in this year.  I have seen him work in my life, and I have much more to learn.  This year, God's given me many new experiences and has stretched me.  I've been given success and disappointment in not getting something I thought was supposed to do.  Just this week, I was disappointed because I didn't get a certain leadership position that I thought I might be doing.  But I know it's part of God's will.  It hurts, but I have to trust him.  God has shown me his heart and forced me to continually trust him daily because he has and knows my ultimate plan.  I have to learn every day to seek his will, and not my own.  It's so easy for me because I'm a planner, and I want to have my whole life planned and figured out.  But instead God just shows me his will little by little, and I have to trust him that he's in control.

God really showed me how was in control over this past spring break.  My choir was on tour in Florida and I was getting ready for one of the concerts, and burned my hand on a straightener.  It hurt really bad and I was really frustrated and mad at God that it had to happen right then.  Through all this, God just broke me and said, "I'm in control, stop trying to take over."  Which is totally what I was trying to do.  Today in chapel we sang the hymn, "I Need Thee Every Hour" and this phrase really stuck out to me:

I need thee every hour, teach me thy will;  and in thy rich promises in me fulfill.

The more we seek his will, the more he will show himself faithful in our lives and fulfill promises in us.  It's not always what we want.  Sometimes it hurts and it's not what we want.  But we will see someday exactly why things happen.  Sometimes God is trying to speak to us, and we don't listen, so he has to cause us pain to get our attention.  I definitely strive to be like Paul, who learned to thank God for suffering.  "Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope." (Romans 5:3-4)  All the hard things I've dealt with, has helped me grow so much closer to my savior and made me the person I am today.  So if you're reading this, and are hurting and wondering why so many things seem hard or wrong, be encouraged that God is working in your life, and you will come through a better person in Christ.  I believe that with my whole heart.

To end, I didn't end up talking much about discerning God's will, but I know that it's hard, and God wants us to trust him.  He created us for his perfect and awesome plan, and eventually we end up connecting the dots.  It's one of the hardest things to do, but the more we seek Christ, the more we find it.  Patience, perseverance, and having faith/ trust in God, is going to help.  I'm still trying to learn how to discern his will and listen to his voice.  Feel free to comment on your thoughts about this.  I'll end with a quote from A.W. Tozer which is so true and good.

"The man or woman who is wholly or joyously surrendered to Christ can't make a wrong choice.  Any choice will be the right one.  Maybe your question should not be 'What should I do?' but rather, 'Am I wholly and joyously surrendered to Christ?"

That's the bottom line. Seeking Christ, and he will encourage you and help you understand.  It's not something that comes overnight, but over time.  Something I'm still working on.

So really to end, here are the words to Tis so sweet.  This song has been my prayer since I auditioned on it for the music program at Cornerstone.  I don't understand exactly why God has brought me here or why I am doing music, but I've come to peace to know that I am trusting him.

1. 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just to take Him at His Word;
   Just to rest upon His promise,
   And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”
   • Refrain:
     Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
     How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
     Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
     Oh, for grace to trust Him more!
2. Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just to trust His cleansing blood;
   And in simple faith to plunge me
   ’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
3. Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
   Just from sin and self to cease;
   Just from Jesus simply taking
   Life and rest, and joy and peace.
4. I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
   Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
   And I know that Thou art with me,
   Wilt be with me to the end.